The Seattle Mariners.
Oh Lord.
There is not another thing in my life that has caused more sleepless nights, or general
disappointment/depression (other than the general state of my life) than the Seattle Mariners.
How many times do I have to watch them “rebuild” before they are actually good? How many
times do I have to watch the Mariners start out hotter than Kate Upton, only to end the season as Amy Schumer? 12-2 this season; TWELVE WINS AND TWO LOSSES. Now, they are sitting pretty at 26-39. I think the worst part about the Mariners is the hope that I always get. I was fully expecting this season to be a shit show, but then they were the hottest team in baseball. The Mariners, to give you perspective, are a lot like the girl you see at the bar that chats you up and you buy her a couple drinks; then once the drinks are gone, she has moved onto the next guy for more free drinks. You were so sure that you were going to smash [that the Mariners were going to be great], but instead you’re going to be going home alone with Jill only with the images and thoughts of what you thought you were going to be doing [or in our case watching the damn Astros make the playoffs AGAIN as we fall to the bottom of the division].
To relate this to another Seattle sports catastrophe, watching the Mariners is like watching Pete
and Darrell decide to throw on the 1 yard line; on repeat. (Look for my reaction story on that moment in my next article). The Mariners start hot and then get cold, just like you expected them to start; AND THEN, THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to beat the Astros 14-1. Come on man, stop doing this to me.
I can only take so much.
Written by: Brayden Eiland
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